Heard it Through the Grapevine: Chapter 4

I have two shadows now, & only one of them belongs to me.

My bird is never far away. Well, I say "mine", as much as any living thing can "belong" to another. Griselda & I, we "belong" to each other.

No one bothers me anymore; "my peers" keep their distance. I don't know what exactly the football players said about me, but I have an idea. Word gets around y'know. Rumors spread like wildfire. I see how they look at me, when they think I'm not looking. I hear the whispers.

They think I have mutant super-powers, like one of the X-Men; perhaps this isn't so far off? I've heard that I'm worshiping the Devil. Or that I'm a witch. That I'm really a shape shifter, masquerading as a human girl. Like a werewolf. Now seriously, if I could be anyone, do you really think I'd land myself in fucking High School?! Really?! Some say I change into a huge black bird, & steal your identity. The more you listen, the stranger the stories get. But the consensus is all the same. On one thing they all agree...

Better to stay away from Zoe the Freak.

Can't say I disagree. I do nothing to dissuade them. My days have never been so peaceful.

Unfortunately, rumors this juicy don't stay in one place for too long. Word gets around. My classmates can't resist telling their friends at other schools, soon the parents are talking amongst themselves, & before long, my parents are whispering too.

& don't think they haven't noticed the lurking prescence of the large black bird, who's taken up residence in their Oak Tree.

When Mrs. Porter, who does the "Neighborhood Outreach" program with my Mother every Tuesday & Thursday, asks her if she knows that I've joined a cult, it's the last straw. See, Mrs. Porter is the self proclaimed "eyes & ears" of this community. She wears blue eye shadow up to her eyebrows, & festive earrings for every season...dangly pumpkins & Christmas lights that blink, blue & red stars for Independence day, & watermelons in the summertime. She runs her mouth a million miles a minute, & her dangly earrings swing back & forth, in effort to keep up with her rapidly bobbing head. It's almost hypnotic. She's such a fucking gossip monger. But Mrs. Porter heard from Mrs. Webber, who heard from her daughter Cindy that I was one of the leaders of a cult that worshiped machines as our true masters. See, Cindy & her friends went out for a picnic last weekend in the forest preserves, & they saw me & several other black robed figures, holding hands & chanting around a Fridgedaire!

"Oh honey!" She exclaimed to my Mother. "You've got to put a stop to this! Before it gets out of control!"

This is much too much for my mother, Mrs. Louise Featherstone, to handle. This is not the way things are supposed to be. See, you join these sorts of things to mingle, & to keep a firm grasp on your community. If everyone knows everyone, no "undesirables" can make their way in, thus infecting our perfect little neighborhood. & it's a status thing. All of the women cluck about who's husband got the better promotion, who's kid got into the better college, who's daughter is having the biggest wedding....it's fucking wretched.

She bursts into the house like a whirlwind; you can almost hear the gears turning in her brain. I'd bet they're really rusty.

-"Zoe?!" Her voice could cut glass. The door slams shut behind her. "Zoe! We need to talk!"

Yeah. Let's Talk. Why don't you try listening for a change Mother? See how that works out for you? This is gonna be good; I can tell from her tone.

-"What Mom?" I slink out into the living room.

-"I'm worried about you Honey. I've been hearing some pretty disturbing things about you..."

-"Lemme guess. Mrs. Porter?"

-"Mrs. Porter ALWAYS knows what's going on around here. She's friends with everyone. She's VERY well informed."

-"Yeah--that's what she wants you to think. So everyone tells her stuff & she can twist it all around. She's a lying hag!"

-"Zoe Featherstone! You mind your mouth! People are starting to talk about you!"

-"So what Mom?! I don't care what they think of me. You shouldn't either."

She stops for a moment, & brushes my dark hair from my eyes, so she can see my face. I scowl at her.

"You shouldn't hide your face dear. & you should smile more. Smiles are contagious you know." She flashes me the phoniest, most plastic smile she owns.

-"Are we done Mom? I have homework."

-"Don't you wanna hear what Mrs Porter told me?" She asks, aghast.

-"Not especially." I turn to go back to my room. She grabs my arm & tugs me back to her.

-"She told me that you're in a ..." She pauses, whispering the word "cult."

I can't help it--I just bust up with laughter. This is hysterical.

-"It's not funny! This is serious! They say you're ...worshiping...machines."

I laugh harder.

-"Cindy Webber saw you in Trippin Woods, with your friends, dancing around a refrigerator!"

-"Mom! Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?! First of all, what friends?! We both know I don't have any! & seriously, how would I even get a 'fridge out there?!"

-"Don't you take that tone with me, Missy!" She looks at me more closely. "Are you on drugs?!"

-"Yeah Mom. That's it. You've got me all figured out." I respond dryly.

-"Well, don't you disappear tonight Missy. Mrs. Porter recommended someone very good, & he says he can see you this evening."

-"What the hell are you talking about Mom?!"

-"This is getting completely out of hand. The depression. The sulking. The sneaking out the window--you thought I didn't know about that! All these...critters....always around! That bird!" She motions out the window. Griselda is watching us from her perch in the tree. "This can't go on! I'm taking you to a Doctor!"

I groan. "I don't need a shrink, Mom!"

-"Well, I wasn't asking you. Be ready to go after dinner. We're going to see Dr. Gunnkell."